A woman's perogative

I have been struggling these past few days with my grief. I haven't been overwhelmed by it, don't worry, quite the opposite dear internet. In fact, I have been underwhelmed. I seem to have a handle on it lately. Probably because I am too busy to deal with it, having children running amok in my home, working my butt off in a greenhouse, but perhaps just because I am truly able to cope with the loss lately. Which bothers me. Am I leaving him behind? Does this mean I am going to forget him, forget his value to our family in ten years? I feel guilty for not being grief bound lately. Lord have mercy, I am losing my mind. Such a woman, always changing her mind....